Life is changing...

It is changing and though it is inevitable and change is part of life I find myself missing the simple days of my childhood.I don't know why lately I have felt so sad and I finally understand the concept of feeling a chip on your shoulder and all i can do to calm myself is cry that river that has build so high in my heart that is to its breaking point. Sometimes it's all I can do to keep my heart above water.....screw keep your head over water it feels that all i can keep above water is my heart.I don't understand myself much less those around me and I wish I could.Moments of clarity and lucidity come to my mind and I am able to function like a normal 24 year old woman and then I feel that asphyxiation that I have learned to live with. I greet it like an old enemy that is always present in my life and race myself for the new emotion it will inevitably evoke of me. I am not one for dramatics I am clear, blunt and candid about who I am and what I stand for but lately this immense sadness has enveloped me and I can't shake it.